there's my holiday artwork

I say Happy Holidays. I love Jesus too. I have never paid much attention to the ridiculous difference between what one person says and another. I mean think about what's important here-- it's the sentiment. No one should be whining about what people are saying for a holiday salutation-- because a lot of them don't really mean it.

You can get in trouble at Target this year for saying Merry Christmas. I would say that's stupid, but it's really not. I mean, when you take a side on an issue as stupid as this, then you're really saying something for your business. Kudos to Target for taking such a stand. Sure, WalMart won't let employees unionize, and they close hundreds of small businesses a year with their vicious values, but this is important crap here-- this is how you wish me well! I think the most ironic thing about the argument is that these people at the registers would rather say, "Get the hell out of my face so I can take the next person and on and on until I get out of this place so I can stop dealing with morons like you that have coupons and discount cards and use credit cards that I need to get approved."

That's really the funny part. I know Greg's working at Walgreens for a few more days. He's probably doing the holiday salutation, and maybe with one attractive woman, or a kindly old person, he means it. For the most part, Greg's just looking for you to go away. "Happy holidays" is really a way to say, "Okay, we're done here. Goodbye."

I gotta say, too, that Jon Stewart nailed it when he pointed out the obvious fact that Christmas, Chanukah, or Kwanza, AND New Year's are both generally over the course of that last two weeks, so the "s" is more than warranted. I'd wish my mom a Merry Christmas because I know I'll see her between then and New Years, during which, I will wish her an additional Happy New Year. It only makes sense to say Happy Holidays to people you don't see all the time. And you should know the people you see all the time better than to give them vague salutations anyway. Jeeze.

I'm Catholic too, and I'm not offended when someone wishes me Happy Holidays. Jesus isn't the reason for everyone's season, and I recognize that. Though, in light of the janitor that calls me Ed everyday, I could imagine that if I were Jewish and everyone in every store wished me a Merry Christmas, it would start to try my patience.

And then came first-hand involvement for me: It was time for me to wish my friends on MySpace a positive week. How would I do this? I drew a picture that covered all my bases, and in the center, it said "Happy Holidays. Surely this would be obvious for everyone. I've got boxing gloves, Kwanza candles, Chanukah candles, an elf, a stable and star, a building with a ball drop, and even two people kissing under the mistletoe, for the agnostics that love lovin'.

Alas, it took only hours before someone commented back, "MERRY CHRISTMAS! Or happy holidays...but i say f--k being politically correct!" It was funny to me. I had just been to Sears the night before, where they had a 8.5 x 11 piece of pastel green paper taped to the door. On it, in capital, Times New Roman, decorationless letters, it read "Merry Christmas." The people are proud of their hip appeal to picking one holiday and sticking to it. I promise you that Sears will not see everyone between Christmas and New Year's, so they're skipping wishing you a Happy New Year. Sears could care less about your New Year's. They hope Y2K happens this year on you.

I think it's funny that people still frown over-- much less use the label-- politically correct. I guess it's just a way of saying that we're all tired of taking in differences. The time has come to re-standardize the country. Let's get everyone on the same page and turn this melting pot into something solid. Listen up, rebel-wannabes, there is no politically correct when your political climate is the train wreck ours is. And I would tell you to say what you want, because being true to yourself is important, but I recently learned that this isn't always right when you have car payments.. What can you do? I'm still wishing Happy Holidays, because we're in a retrograde now. Political correctness is the cool stuff now. All this pop-Christmas support. Pshh. When everyone's out there wishing Merry Christmas, just to have people go, "Wow-- look at that hero-- saying Merry Christmas so proudly!" then your lame rebellion has turned to crap.

I say Happy Hollidays, and I still love Jesus. I don't think Jesus is up in heaven splitting hairs over holiday salutations-- if he is, I'm in trouble for far more than this. Then again, if your moral compass is a broken as mine, you may not want to take my advice at all. While I appreciate your belief in my far reaching influence on people from Atlantic City all the way to Seychelles, I think you should really think about things and make your own decisions. Happy Holidays to you and yours.