Greg poses with the pizza.

There was a pizza, a car, some money, and a stuffed doll. Add it all up and it became an adventure. It all started on Friday, December 10. In a usual friday ritual, I met Greg for lunch at the local eatery. We sat at our table and discussed the events of the day. I explained how I may have been going to the movies that night, but that my choices were slim to none. Karen left me with a small selection after she discounted many good prospects. Greg defended her limits by suggesting that she has seen my DVD collection, and it's nothing to write home about. The choices were simple: Bridget Jones' Diary 2, Christmas With the Kranks, or Closer.

I took our topic into the realm of star power when I asked Greg if he knew what Closer was about. I knew who was in it, but I knew nothing of the themes, plot, structure, or anything else for that matter. Greg did not know. Our third party, Chris Paone, joined the table and we posed the question to him. He also agreed that he'd seen many commercials, but had no idea about the plot. Melissa Dombroski (no, not the skanky one from high school) then joined up, but she too said that she had no idea what the film was about. Curiosity was powerful, but surely not powerful enough to actually go to see it.

I decided that the best route would be to check out The Guide, NEPA's junior entertainment guide (aka, the local strip clubs' reason for advertising). I knew that they would have a synopsis of some sort. I raced to the movie section while Greg and Chris moved on because they weren't facing the danger of actually going to see the mess. I found that the Guide said only two things that I didn't know about it already: 1) Clive Owens is the fourth guy that no one really cares about in the commercials and 2) it's a "brutal love story."

I was filled with confusion as the synopsis said "Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman, and Clive Owens fall in love..." I couldn't fathom a love square. A love triangle was conceivable, but a square just means pair-off. I had to end this by turning the page. I came across an ad on the back page for Pete's Place, which has "American and Middle-Eastern Cuisine." I was proud that an establishment bearing my name could unite two of the most heated modern enemies, even if it was just through food.

I opened The Guide to another ad. It read "Opens Tuesday in Edwardsville!" And the place? Little Caesar's. By this time, Shump had joined the table and we all went around saying that we had no idea that Little Caesar's was still around. It was quite a revalation for us, who have exhausted most local pizza alternatives. More importantly than the pizza, the ad boasted, "FREE Little Caesar's Bean Doll! for the first 100 customers." We were in.

I called the store to see when they opened, as we didn't want to lose out being customer 101. Instead of getting the Little Caesar staff--which I didn't expect, as they open on Tuesday--I got a contractor who was working on the place. He guessed that it would open at about 11:00 AM. Greg and I touched down in Edwardsville at about 11:13 AM. Our group visit had diminished to only Greg and me. I don't know what happened to Chris, but Shump was too busy leaving school, and Melissa had finals 5 and 6 out of 12, so we let her go.

When we walked inside, we did have to wait in line-- there was a duo of EMTs that were as excited as we were to be at Little Caesar's. The one EMT, in true Greg fashion, said, "Are you ready? Let's DO THIS!" Greg and I finally ordered our feasts and waited patiently for our food. At the same time, we admired the decorations, the presence of Fanta, and the abundance of repatition ("We like Happy Happy customers." "Thank you! Thank You! for being our customer!" etc.).

We also got our Beanie Dolls, so that was awesome. We were reluctant to cause a scene because we didn't want to be banned on the opening day, so we were on our best behavior. We zoomed back to King's and ate our food with supreme pleasure in our investment. We also debated lining Greg's walls with Little Caesar's boxes, but we ultimately decided that it was a bad idea. It was a great trip, and it was made better by the fact that people thought we were really insane for looking forward to the opening.

Truth be told, Greg and I didn't know what to expect. Sometimes you just have to feel excited about something, and Little Caesar did it. Not much more could have gotten us through that last weekend of school and Greg's first day of finals. Thank you Little Caesar. I tip my olive branch to you.