The man, the myth, and so much more...

Come a lil' closer kids, let me tell you a story...

Once there was a boy named Pete. He was a dumpy lil' guy with very little direction in life. When Pete graduated from high school he went to a school called King's College in Wilkes-Barre, PA. While there, he found still less direction in life. He signed up to be a Mass Communications major, but where would that take him? TV? Radio? Web design? Writing? Where?!?! It was at this point in time where Pete met a man, at least we think he was a man. His name was Scott Carroll, and many legends have been written about him (by chronicler Mike Venos), but this one isn't a legend, it's a tribute-- a tribute to all that was, is, and is to come.  

The word "pooper" never held such meaning, salt never looked so repulsing on pizza, and grumbles were never more enjoyable than when they came to Scott. Scott was much like the rubix cube or the Bermuda triangle; people would come from far and wide filled with awe and fascination, but with no true explanation as to what made Scott so interesting. Once, I thought I figured out why, but I passed out because the human mind just can't handle the answers to some questions. Scott, referred to as Little Scott by some, was more than a blip on the radar of life, he was a missile heading right for the center. 

A wise sage, Scott gave me boundless advice on how to pursue my Communications degree in a timely and enjoyable fashion. How do you hate the world? Scott could show you. How do you memorize entire episodes of the Simpsons? Scott knew how. And just when you thought the world was complete, that no more could be added to the infinite wisdom that one man could have, then--and only then-- did you eat a meal with him. Dining was the most enjoyable event with Scott. A fifteen-minute meal could turn into an hour and a half of riotous laughter that no one could contend with.

If you don't believe me, you can ask Gregory "G-Def" Kirschner. Greg and Scott knew each other long before I came into the picture. They could throw Simpsons lines back and forth with the greatest of ease, and why not? If you know it, flaunt it. 

Scott Carroll was much like Martin Luther King Jr. Once in a lifetime does such a person come along, and if you're blessed enough to know that individual personally, then you can put the knowledge gained to far more use than you could imagine. Scott was an inspiration for many. Whether it was Scott making your life look good by comparison, his razor sharp wit, or his incessant heckling of individuals from far and wide, Scott was a true American hero. 

Scott was also a co-worker. He was employed at Media Services along with me and Sam Falbo. I didn't bother to count the amount of extra hours I stayed at work without pay just to hear Scott's social commentary or his reaction to the latest television spectacle. Lately I wish I did count them so I would have more money in the bank, but that's another story. So where is the end of our praise? There can be none. Scott Carroll was a legend at King's College; maybe not by all, but definitely by some. Dare I say, Scott Carroll is a cult sensation. My only fear is that the legend of Little Scott will die with the passing of my class.

Regardless, Scott will live on forever in the hearts of people around King's. Sure some people didn't like him. "He's so negative," "He loves salt," but they couldn't hold their own when the barrage of insults came from our hero. So let us remember Scott Carroll for who he was, and who he continues to be (no, he's not dead, just dearly, dearly missed). We all need a ray of grey in our lives; thank you Scott for being mine.

PS-- This is the guy with the scissors everybody-- see, he really is real!