You don't even need to ask me what pizza I prefer. It's Little Caesar's all the way. The pizza's pretty good, but it's the camp and the name that make it worth buying. In the 80's, Domino's could fight-- they had the Noid and those bitchin' delivery hats with reflectors on them. That was HAWT, as the kids say. Now, however, Domino's is out of control. Now, they have three references to heat on the top of their box-- as if you should be warned that your pizza's hot, just in case you weren't expecting it to be.

Domino's has the solid cheese, like most fast food pizza. You don't find drippy cheese or any pockets of hidden grease on them. The grease is spread evenly, and in some cases, sprayed on for glaze. It makes eating your pizza a bit less of a mess because you know what you're getting into.

My gripe with Domino's lies in the box. I think Domino's tries to be pompous with their delivery box. They don't fold it like everyone else. They have a whole frontal fold system that seems more like a brain teaser than a box. Perhaps this is how Domino's is able to hire only intelligent employees? I doubt it. I've met some moronic Domino's people in my time. If you can pass the box-folding test, you're in!

I understand the validity of the box though. There is a very slight tucking area. The top tucks into the bottom, thereby holding the box closed. This is bullshit everybody, because we're not getting our pizza stuck in the wind and having the box fly open. Seriously, I just don't understand why it tucks. If everyone tucked, I would get it. If it seemed effective, I would get it. Without either, it's worthless.

You might also notice the cut corners on the box border. This is also ridiculous. The box goes over and off the corners. It's not like the cut corner readjusts the shape in any cool way. You probably save an inch of cardboard when all is said and done. I guess it helps, to a degree, because how many times have you been hit in the face with the corner of a pizza box? Judging from the bandages and blood on your face, it must be once... at least. Oh, but be careful with the other end of the Domino's box, because that's not different. It's front end modifications. Trickin' out the pizza box like a freaking Honda Civic.

And the reflector hats? Don't even think about it. They're gone. I think if we managed to attach reflectors to the boxes, that could be an improvement. The Domino's delivery guys today walk around with hand-held ovens apparently. The Heat Wave (which is mentioned on the box, long after you've read it, the heatwave is gone) is the big red plastic safe that your delivery man comes by with. The thing is made out of space suit material that doesn't let the elements, much less any temperature under 300°, inside. It's almost as fool proof as the literal ovens that keep Little Caesar's hot n' ready.

Bottom line and last point for you all: I prefer to buy my pizza from a character. I might be more inclined to go Domino's if the brought the Noid back-- and why in God's name shouldn't they?! For now, I'll go with Little Caesar's. They can't drop Little Caesar from their image, or it would be a completely new company. So if you'd like to dine on some pretty good pizza, or some insanely orgasmic Italian cheese bread, you drop me a line. I'll be happy-happy to take you over.