it's not by chance that one guy looks happy and the other looks exhausted. (thanks to these guys)

I went to Wendy's and ordered a frosty in the drive thru. When I came around, the guy had a birch beer waiting for me. As Greg said, "A deaf person can't even mess that up." I asked if he had a frosty in there-- maybe he got confused. He just gave me one and let me keep the soda too.

You don't miss the frosty when you're near a Wendy's. A lot of people give too much slack to the milky dessert. You eat it with a spoon, not a straw. I remember years ago when some kid's magazine in a doctor's office did a poll on which fast food place had the best milkshakes. They put Wendy's dead last, claiming the frosty was too thick. The obvious joke is that they were too thick to know how to eat a frosty. Jeeze. Why does that stand out in my childhood? I'm not addicted to them or anything.

You eat a frosty with a spoon. That's why they give you one with it. If you ate it with a straw, then they'd give you one. If you go to a well-off Wendy's franchise, then you may get both. That's nice, but confusing. Often your frosty will melt a bit while you eat your meal. If this happens, then you do have some liquid stuff to clean up before you can properly scoop.

You may be tempted to drink the liquid with a straw, but then you'd be doing it wrong. You pick up the cup with one hand, then (with the other hand) use the spoon to hold back the substantive frosty mix, then the liquid rolls into your mouth. That's how you do it, and that's the only way to do it. If your kid does that and gets it all over him/herself, then let them, because it's not just a dairy treat-- it's the most fun you will ever have with fast food.

Eat your frosty too fast-- I dare ya. You'll get a brain freeze, but it's not called a brain freeze when you get it from a frosty-- it's called a frosting orgasm. I'm serious. Check the company literature. Frosting orgasms don't hurt, they're euphoric.

They sell a frosty for a dollar, but upgrade and you'll get twice as much. You can also add a frosty to your value meal. You must know though, that if you biggie size and get a frosty, they'll only give you a regular sized frosty. Federal law states that if they sold a biggie sized frosty it could count as prostitution since there's that much potential for sequential frosting orgasms in 32 ounces of frosty. That's why the dollar one is so small.

Frostys have been around for quite a while. Dave Thomas didn't wed because he could have all the frostys he wanted. He grew children in frosty mix. I realize this is starting to sound absurd, but it's all documented. Just do some LexisNexis research, you'll find it. Thomas grew children in frostys, and then he started his whole adoption campaign. No, he didn't want to spread them across the world so they could take over-- that would be ridiculous. He just wanted to share the love that a frosty can bring.

At Wendy's, we all know, they have the lamest kids meal toys. They sell baked potatoes and chili. They're not on the ball for everything, but on the other hand, they are one of the few places you can go if you actually want chili or a baked potato. Still, it's the frosty that makes you trip to Wendy's a good one. If you've ever objected to the frosty in the past, may I suggest you give it another chance. There's always room inside for a frosty, and frostys are love. Is there room inside you for love? I think there is in all of us.