Chip: Zombie Fish or not?

My fish is dead. At least Kyle thinks so.

For those of you who have followed my fish history, you have to know that my current fish, Chip, is alive and has been for eight weeks now. Kyle, confident in the fact that I can't raise a fish well enough, is convinced that Chip died a few weeks ago. 

"Keep that zombie fish away from me! Don't let it bite me!" Kyle screams as he curls into a fetal position. Kyle is what we may call, a wuss.

Karen can't stand the accusations of Zombie Fish because if Chip was indeed dead, it would be another dead fish on our hands. This death would invoke tremendous grief on the part of Miss Petrosky, but even worse, it would probably be my fault. But let's consider the positive here.

If Chip is indeed a zombie fish, then he won't die anytime soon. Zombies can live forever, and in reality, I could leave him in my room over winter break and not worry for a minute. It's moments like this when zombie fish come in handy. Just imagine how many kids would be happy with a zombie fish because they don't die. Then again, kids may have a problem learning about loss if they don't have to bury dead fish as children. 

Chip also loves his fish flakes. This means that we may not have a great understanding of zombie fish. For one, they may eat other fish, but they don't eat people. I haven't run the risk of a bowl partner for Chip yet, because it's obvious that I can barely handle one fish, let's not push it with two. It's actually quite surprising that zombie fish haven't been genetically perfected in order to sell them at large. Chip's lust for fish flakes lead him to stand upright and demand compensation immediately. Two feedings a day is enough for a regular fish, but Chip always demands more food whenever someone looks at him. I usually get yelled at by guests for not feeding him, but the truth is that his hunger is insatiable, he can't be satisfied. 

Chip does exhibit signs of a regular fish too. For example, he swims and eats, has gills, freaks out when you take him out of water, etc. Some (Kyle) still question whether or not he is a living fish. In reality this isn't an unwarranted suggestion, after all Chip cost fifty cents (not to be confused with Fitty Cent) at the Luzerne County Fair (though I might argue he cost $400 because of the repairs that had to be made to my car). Henderson 2, in my fish history, cost $5 and died overnight, so the life expectancy for Chip wasn't very long, but now we may never know how long he could live. In the end, Kyle's genetic and biological testing continues and whenever he comes to an answer we'll report it here first. Stay tuned....