Me, thinking of something special.

Well well well fignuts-- guess what? You lost sucka'.

Yeah, I know this whole having-a-website gig is pretty lame, but it used to entertain. What have I become for you kids now? A mocking post for you to hang your mockery on in a mocking fashion? Well NO MORE! Welcome to a new (fine-minute) revolution at Pete Phillips Online. I will no longer tolerate any "We miss old Pete"s or "Why is your website so sh--y"s. I am coming back to my website with full force (until finals week) and I won't be kept down. Honesty has found me like Jesus finds some in the south and I must set it free. There's some things I need to set out there for people to believe that I'm still here:

1. Flip-flops are crazy now. It's gettin' cold homie, you gotta protect your dogs. I mean you don't want gangrene setting in there, then we'll have to amputate, and as some bioethics kids said, "There's something wrong with people like that."
2. Shorts with words on the ass are out for the winter months, but I must stress that pants with words on the ass aren't more acceptable. More appropriate winter phrases for your ass are, "It's warm in here," "Farts still smell in the cold," and "It's so cold your hand will stick."
3. After taking part in a game of beer pong I've decided that drinking games are still awful and senseless. I'm working out the space logistics of beer dodge ball in 250 Main. I had someone drink for me during the game, which I found ended like every beer pong game: drunks throwing a ping pong ball at one cup.
4. Okay, I like Old Navy's pants. Get the hell over it.
5. I've accepted my car (the Buick) for who it is. It also received a name from Gregory "G-Diddy" Kirschner, the HMS Invincible. HMS means Her Majesty's Service, which is the title for all of Britain's royal Navy boats. The name came because of the size of the car and it's indestructible nature that it has with the Buick name.

Also, no one entered my last contest, so screw ya's all. Alisha and Molly promised a joint submission, Kyle intended as hard as he could, and no one else even bothered to mention the contest to me. While Gregory "HOVA" Kirschner says, "You've gotta get it more out there," I assure you that I did everything for this contest that I did for last contest (except beg, which actually generated about 7 or the 11 last contest entries). So the prizes went to waste, and by waste I mean Kyle. Ask him to see the Sexy Pete shirt, he never takes it off.

So kids, we'll see what happens. Pusspants.