We were such good friends that no pictures of us together exist. Also, everyone's head is a little warped, I had to use MS Paint to do the photo editing.

In the recent months (and more notably, weeks), you may have noticed a great decrease in web site stories. When there is something written about it's usually forced--so as a result, there's a noticeable lack of quality to go along with the rare presence of stories. "So why the long face Pete?" you may be asking, well I'll tell you.

I don't live where I used to. Sure, there were a lot of complaints and stuff because of the dorm I lived in, because of the people that lived near me, etc, but look at the broad picture now... nothin'! That's right, I got nothin'. Sure, I live next to Kyle, but no one, and I mean no one, will ever compare to the antics of Joe Baldasare, Gregory "Iceman" Kirschner, and Patrick O'Connor. Their antics didn't always make it to the website, but they always provided great inspiration and mental stimulus that facilitated long, content-full articles with great dept and range of emotion. 

Currently I have moved into a single room, because I was too lazy to walk up a giant hill and we weren't sure if Pat was actually coming back to King's, so our idea for an on-campus apartment went away quickly. What happened to me was I lost all creative abilities, Greg cheered up and started saying "Hi." to people, while Joe kept on being Joe )he's like a cockroach, he'll survive anything--except a day without Peter Frampton).

Greg moved on to pick up a great fully furnished apartment with a free fish tank, bar stools, giant couch, and more. He has low rent and a pretty good location, but he has no light switches, which seems like the funniest thing ever. People never seem to understand this problem, but he really had no functioning light switches. I'm not going into the apartment when it's dark, so I really don't worry about the severity of the problem. And in his quest to become the next Batman, Greg is working on developing his night vision through life with no switches. Sometimes he caves though and turns on lights by hand. We all can't be heroes, but Greg's closer to it than most of us, and that's ok.

Joe is specializing in school these days. After leaving hearth and home he's moved into the hippest bachelor pad with posters covering flowers painted onto the walls and ceilings that angle like the top floor of a church, house, or... apartment building. Joe has also quit his job, the army, his croquet days are over, and meat has been cut out of his diet completely (the army thing is the only true one there). He has, instead, dedicated his time to eating lunch with Greg, making fun of me, and the usual TV/video games in the apartment. Joe's been studying juvenile delinquency and looking for a job of any kind. Like many off-campus residents, Joe needs to pay rent.

Pat has gone missing. He now exists as a screen name on AOL, but his specific location is still shrouded by mystery. Did he go to Rutgers? Did he end up becoming a fireman? Is there truth to the rumor that he's attending the college that's 5 minutes from my house? Do you really care? Well you should dammit! Careful studies have proven that Pat is actually missable, no matter how few people want to admit it. I will stand in accordance with my honesty and dignity and say that I do miss Pat's retro buzzwords, made up taglines, and stories about his drunken rampages... well maybe rampages isn't the right word, I think escapades is funnies... his drunken escapades. 

But the point here is as follows: The problem comes in for you when you have nothing to read I realize that things are rough and my life may be going too well at the moment, I apologize. Things may get bad and if they do, you'll be the first to hear me joke about it. For now you'll have to settle for my literary sitting on the porch and reminiscing. I apologize for any lack of creativity in this current time, but I promise you that I won't reprint the article about shorts with words on the butt and replace the word "shorts" with "pants" for the winter months... I promise.

What could you do to help? Oh I'm glad you asked. If you're one of the above, you can invite me over and we can chat over tea and crackers. If you're not one of the above people you can try to do crazy things like they did and be a half-assed replacement. In other words, we need a new butt-of-jokes/mascot here at PetePhillipsOnline (and when I say "we" I mean me).