"Who ever knew that a fish could live so long?"

That was the question on the minds of most people at the one-year birthday party of Chip the fish on Monday, September 6, 2004. Chip, who was won at the Luzerne County Fair in 2003, has led a long and full life, and continues that life everyday in his current home in Mountaintop, PA. His past months in Flood, Esseff, and Luksic Halls, also proved to be enjoyable experiences. I sat down with Chip and conducted the following interview about him, his life, and his friends and family.

Pete Phillips: Hello Chip and thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule for this interview. You've always been an idol on the internet, but an enigma in life. I hope to get to know you a little better today.

Chip: (laughing in a hearty tone) Yes, well, I don't mean to be such a mystery, I'm really just a simple fish.

P: No no, don't sell yourself short. Let's explore the subtle complexities. Why don't you tell me about where it all began? What was your childhood like?

C: Childhood is something that I try not to think of. It wasn't the best time in my life. I was batched at a hard time for fishes. We were all collected up as young fish-lings and tossed into a big tank that wasn't the cleanest of areas.

P: I understand, I live in Luksic Hall.

C: Exactly, you understand completely--but you pay to live there, so who knows what's going on in your head. Anyway though, I fist learned about travel through this time. My tank was moved to a busy and dangerous place. Being such a young fish, I had no idea where it was.

P: Later you would find that this was the Luzerne County Fair, right?

C: Correct, it was quite a frightening situation. Imagine being in the hands of a creature a least a hundred times the size of you, then imagine looking out and seeing at least a thousand more similar creatures. On top of that, when I tried to escape, I would only hit the glass constraints of my tank. I was in quite a pickle, but things started to look up when I saw a group of people come to the booth. As they tossed ping-pong balls into cups, I hoped that they would win. When they did, I was taken on a ride.

P: Why do you think you felt so comfortable with these people instead of others?

C: I really can't explain that, it was just a feeling I had-- though that lanky S.O.B. Kyle really did make me worry. Regardless, I got to see more of the fair in the hands of my new owners. They were great people with lots of love to spare. You should know, you're one of them.

P: Heh, thanks Chip.

C: After my trip to the car I did get tossed around while your car suffered through, but when we finally made it home, I was in for a treat. My new three-walled home of fun seemed too good to be true.

P: Enough about your history. What about now, how are things doing now?

C: Things are good. Sometimes I miss a meal here and there, depending on how busy the house is here in Mountaintop, but for the most part things are great.

P: Now you mention Mountaintop, what are you doing up there?

C: Well in light of the temperature extremes in Luksic Hall, I had to move to a more temperate climate in Mountaintop. I don't get to see you as much, but I'm not dead, right?

P: Right. I understand your water is in a bad state too, huh?

C: Yeah, well maybe if you'd come up once in a while!

P: Oh... you!

C: Yeah, but they say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," so I'm stronger by the day as I swim in my own fecal matter. Some say it's gross, but I prefer "natural."

P: Now you're over a year old. How does it feel?

C: I'm very relieved. I didn't know I could pull it out this long. Who knew I would make it from a little fish egg all the way to a traveling fish in a triangular bowl? Not I... not I.

P: Now what do you say to your critics who say that you must be dead because a fair fish, like yourself, could never live this long.

C: You mean Kyle? Oh he's just a crazy kid. The idea of me being undead-- it's just ludicrous

P: What would you like to see in the future of Chip?

C: I'd like a new toy in my bowl, maybe one I could swim through. Otherwise, I couldn't see anything better in my life.

P: That's great to hear. Before we go, I'd like to ask-- as a year old fish, do you have any recommendations for any young fishlings out there?

C: Hmm... that's a tough one. I guess, if anything, I'd say find some people that will love you and stick with them. That's the best way to get to a great life. If you find someone who doesn't care, then you're screwed. And hey-- if you don't find anyone, enjoy your time in the tank.