the one and only, mr. furry-tail

Before I moved to Northeastern Pennsylvania, I didn't know a lot of things. I didn't know you could get into college with SAT scores under 1000 (thank you Matt O'Neal). I didn't know that weather could vary 40 degrees in the same day (thank you Mother Nature). I didn't know who Michael Gaughan was or that a judge could reset your first two years of college (thank you Patrick O'Connor). And one thing that I didn't know, that I think I should have, is the sound that a squirrel makes.

Well thank you Mr. Fluffy-tail, now I know. I'm here to share with you the noise a squirrel makes so you can spread the love and knowledge, because we all know, "Knowledge is power!"

Squirrels have long been a nuisance to the common gardener. They're always climbing up poles and messing with the bird food in the feeder. This is because squirrels are part of the marmot family. While that's not an official phylum in the animal kingdom, it is to me. The marmot family includes rodents, which a squirrel is pretty close to. Rodents and marmots are trouble-makers that cause problems for everybody and that's why we hate them so much. Unlike rats and moles, however, some people think the squirrel is cute. With a bushy tail and rabies, how can you disagree?

I once felt privileged to learn that squirrel poop is little round brown balls. That was the extent of my squirrel knowledge too. No, I also knew that they ran away from people because we're bigger and more threatening. This was a belief though. In reality, not all squirrels abide by this way of life. Some, found in suburban-city locations actually charge at you instead of running away. This is because you can't hunt them in the city, so they don't know that there's a threat. Of course in the back woods of New Jersey you can, so they run scared.

Now a squirrel makes sounds when it wants to communicate. Unlike people, it generally only seems to communicate when it is scared. We all have a glorified idea of squirrel sounds as "num num num" as it chews on an acorn. This is not the fearful squirrel sound. The squirrel seen above, for example, thought it better to absolutely lose its mind. I don't blame him in the situation, but I do blame him for getting into the situation.

Mr. Fluffy-tail ended up on top of my building. He thought it would be a good idea to climb down the chimney (on the outside) and touch down on the ground. His plan was foiled when he saw the ground fast-approaching and thought it would be best to scream in panic, like a cat in a tree, than continue to the bottom of the wall.

The sound of a squirrel in danger is closer to that of a crow. The squeal is long and not very pleasant. If anything, it really makes you want to go in the other direction more than actively help. Of course this is odd since the squirrel and crow have no similarities. Except of course, the mammal-oddity, the flying squirrel. This rodent was misnamed, as he actually glides, but it's okay because you could call it the two-legged squirrel and the idea is still attached: he's a total freak of nature. And in it's truest form, the freak is in and a result of, nature.

And so concludes our lesson in squirrel-ology for today. Enjoy this little but of wildlife audiology:

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