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I sit here trying to update my humble little spot on the web here, but it seems that things have only gotten worse for our financial situation. Currently my internet connection is transferring at .4 kb/second across a network connection. Yeah, if you remember correctly, we canned half of our cleaning staff so we could pay for more costs associated with network bandwidth problems, but it seems that they've only succeeded in slowing down the connection and making me go crazy. That, and putting some nice people out of jobs.

Anyway, we're broadcasting live from Luksic Hall, on the campus of King's College. There's been a strange wave here at King's, and no one knows where it came from. All I can promise you is that it's damn strange...

As Freshman orientation started, I was not involved. I couldn't partake in the festivities because I wasn't sure at the beginning of the summer if I would have been available to help, but it turned out I was. From my window in lonely Luksic, I saw some people roaming around. Some were moving in, some were exploring the new campus, and some were being herded to forced social activities and such. I peered in confusion as most of our students looked normal, but the occasional fashion experiments gone bad did happen--more than I thought it should too.

The girl in daisy dukes did surprise me a bit, but I wasn't dazzled because of the power of hip-hop culture in America these days. What did surprise me was the amount of girls who moved in to their rooms with high heels and full Dixieland dress. I was confused as to why they would dress up so much for such an obviously sweaty activity. As time passed Greg and I would wonder about the lack of coverage on most poor freshmen. The mini-skirts were coming, we all knew that. Once those wavy skirts get high enough there's enough ass to fill an Ass Jar (no, there's no such thing as an ass jar, but who cares?). Now the skirts have been worked into our fashion world by Old Navy and all, so they don't look all that bad to me anymore. This is a sign of the times, but what can you say to a girl sitting on a park bench facing a building with classes coming out and her skirt hanging down off of the bench? "Cross tighter," is all I had.

The whole part of this crazy fashion train wreck we call "public" was the noticeable surge in heels. I didn't know that high heels were on the cutting edge of modern fashion. I thought we were all about comfort now. I'm sure we'll be into uncomfortable-just-so-I-look-good fashion before I die, but I know we're not there yet. I'm hoping that will be the trend when I'm an old man, so I won't have to participate for social acceptance.

For the fall semester I did go shopping to clothe myself, for the benefit of all, and I did find some nice clothes. I bought one shirt because the color on the tag said "dark paprika"--that and it was $8. I also picked up a new pair of black pants, in light of the fact my old pair from 9th grade had a hole in them. They were broken in very well, so I sewed up the hole, but broad public use is out of the question for them. Instead, I'll settle for my new St. John's Bay pants. While shopping, I found a little comic book that I'll explore in another story, but for now I'll settle linking stories poorly with that allusion.

All in all, fashion's getting nutty, but one thing's for sure: My window is surely the view to the world of various fashion goings on. Did you know it's acceptable to sit on brick in the middle of a college and tan, male or female? I didn't until yesterday. But hey everybody, fashion's fashion, and it's a lot like ethics, who says what's wrong and right? Everything's relative, and I'm relatively perturbed by the trend in kids dressing so provocatively. I'm only hoping that it's a fashion trend and not a social trend. In the words of a woman much wiser than me, "They'd better keep their pippers in their pants."

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It's been hard times at the website here. Our newsroom (AKA my room) has been reeling with fan propellers. As they spin around, I spin in a terrible spiral. I've been really bored since finishing my internship, and I've been itching to do something, but I haven't had any strokes of genius, so the website has been left to grow mold and vines. I have no excuse for that, so don't look for one. The truth is that I've been doing nothing at all, I just haven't been inspired for small pieces about little quirks and such.

I have to admit that the "summer of renovations" in Luksic really paid off quite a bit. I got new carpet in my room, which I didn't need. And in addition, we also still have roaches, still have strange smells, no ventilation, and no drainage--home sweet home. Although I shouldn't let my buddy's work go unnoted, my maintenance buddies did fix up my door so that it actually closes all the way. Thanks guys. My sister recently got the news that she doesn't have a classroom at school, but that she has an office in a closet with no ventilation. The school said she can't have any kids in there because there's no vents. I'm thinking of transferring there because they have more respect for their students. If course my credits should carry over to an elementary school, right?

Room adjustments of my own have happened too. Some may be upset to learn that I have to half-retire my Hoop Warrior backboard and hoop. While moving four times this summer, I lost the ball. I couldn't go on without a ball, and no substitutes existed. I searched high and low, only to find the correct ball at Rite Aid in Mountaintop, for the hefty price of $2.99. I bought two because I was too stupid to find the price before heading to the check out counter. So I used these balls (shut up Kyle) and I played basketball, but things weren't the same because the hoop kept falling off. I had to accept that the whole thing was just too old now. I had to replace it. The hoop warrior model was no longer available, so I had to opt for the new selection: Ghetto-model, post-modern model, breakthrough model, or faux-Matrix model. Upon Greg's recommendation, I went for the breakthrough, and it seems to work just fine. I also got a new ball. Now I have seven total balls to play with, and that makes shooting time go to an all-time high. No more time is wasted retrieving balls. It's shoot-shoot-shoot.

I also added some more decorations, like the homemade poster of William Shatner and Ben Folds, a DEFENSE sign from the Pioneers game, most of the old beach theme items and other returning things that I'm too lazy to write out now. There's a new secret compartment in Pete's room too, where I will hide food. Yummy. I seem to remember having more room in my room before, but now It seems to be filled to the brim, and I still haven't gotten my stuff out of Greg's place. What a guy, that Greg. Good man keeping all my stuff in his place forever--I mean a few weeks more. There's still light coming into my room at all times of the day or night too, so that's not so cool, but oh well.