yes, it is as good as it looks

Right off the bat we hear one of the carnal sins of bad movies: original music. We also meet Harold. He's a "numbers cruncher" in a cubical. Then we meet Kumar, who's at a medical school interview. We like him. He's a funny guy because he's talking about doping up on a cell phone call at the interview. We soon learn that Harold is also in love with the sight of his neighbor, the beautiful Maria. Harold and Kumar are potheads. Kumar's funny, Harold's uptight. When they smoke it up, they get hungry-- enter the White Castle. They take a trip to go get some. They're in NJ too, which puts one more ounce of cool into the movie.

Once outside, we meet the extreme guys, who like Mountain Dew, but are also jerks. They take a Newark detour and watch two guys that look like them get beat up. This wasn't funny to anyone I've watched it with, except New Jersey natives. They find the White Castle they seek has been bought by the Burger Shack. Anthony Anderson, the drive-thru attendant, tells them to head out to Cherry Hill-- there's a White Castle there. Anderson is hilarious, Kumar is willing, and Harold is reluctant. They forge ahead. Harold has a girl who likes him, but he doesn't really like her. She's in college though, so Kumar goes to get weed, while Harold attends the Asian group meeting that the girl who digs him is in. They smoke in the stairs, and end up hiding from security in the bathroom, where they hear girls poop. That's funny because girls aren't supposed to poop. Ask Kyle.

Anyway, they end up finding a party with some pot and they pop in so they can score some. This is our first boobage of the movie. Alas, security runs after them. They made it into the car and back on the way to Cherry Hill. A racoon jumps in the car, which isn't very funny, but the random guy peeing in the woods is hilarious. Racoon bites Harold, they go to the hospital, they meet Kumar's dad, he gets in trouble for blowing the interview, and promises a better one the next day. They also get pushed into surgery and Kumar knows what he's doing because he's a medical savant, but we don't care. Ryan Reynolds is in there too. He's kinda funny.

They drive off and have a Maria sighting. Harold gets nervous and punches the gas. They go off the road and need a tow. Here's our creepy tow truck man. They go to his place while he changes the tire for them. They meet his wife, who's hot, and they have to resist the decency in having sex with her. Boob shot number two. Anyway, they run away after they find out that tow truck man would be involved in the whole sex thing. They ride away and pick up Neil Patrick Harris. He's very un-Doogie Howser. They stop at a gas station, where the extreme guys happen to be. kumar stands up for the lowly attendant, who's being picked on. They leave to find Neil Patrick Harris stealing their car.

Our duo is split and they cross the street to use a payphone. I guess it's illegal to cross against a green in north Jersey, so they get arrested. All the while we hear background noise on an escaped cheetah, so we figure that'll work in some how. At the police station they steal a bag of weed while they get Harold out of jail. They escape then find the cheetah. How convenient. They dope up the cheetah and then ride it. This is what the movies call "suspending belief." Dream sequence, chase, Neil Patrick Harris, hang glider, "gay" music, and more random stuff. I guess I should tell you that this is a terrible movie, but it's fun to watch. It's not fun to write about though. The cheetah and the hang gliding are your two main awful things in this movie. Past those two things, it's a pretty funny movie. It's not all shitty like Dude, Where's My Car?, but it has a similar feel of fun to it.

In day, our boys land at White Castle. The time of day dramatically changed, but we accept it by then. They make it to White Castle, but they're out of money-- until Neil Patrick Harris comes in and pays for the food. It was a heartwarming tale, but we're not at the end yet. Harold, in the wake of events, gets confidence, and Kumar gets to realize that he wants to be a doctor. Everything ends just right for everybody. Oh, and Maria, well she's off to Amsterdam, which makes the world perfect for us too because now there's a sequel opening. God Bless America. Now, about that sequel...