uncle lou

Lou Diamond Phillips is my uncle.

Yes, I chose this of all times to share it with you because this week begins and ends with premieres of two of Uncle Lou's latest films: Red Water (Sunday night) and Absolon (Saturday night). I'm proud of Uncle Lou's recent success and he's always got a place in my heart for teaching me how to ride a bike. I can hear some of you saying that he can't be my uncle, it's impossible, blah, blah, blah... but listen--he is.

For some of you crazy kids out there who don't know who my Uncle Lou is, he's a fantastic actor who has been in show business for nearly twenty years now. During this time he's seen some flashy roles, like Ritchie Valens in La Bamba (Valens is unfortunately known as one of the three rockers that died in a tragic plane crash with the Big Bopper and Buddy Holly, an event that later inspired the song "American Pie" from Don McLean, which was later massacred by Madonna on the Next Best Thing soundtrack, but I digress...). He went on for more fame in Young Guns and Young Guns II and the video classic Bats. Courage Under Fire also helped us see his serious side. He's credited with the quote, "The only power an actor has is the ability to say: 'No'," a power which he rarely exercises, but it's Uncle Lou that makes these awful movies into so much more.

Take Route 666 for example, a Sci-Fi Channel original which premiered earlier this year on the channel. In it he plays the son of a bank robber who is transporting the fast-talking Rabbit (Steven Williams AKA Mr. X from the X-Files and Captain Adam Fuller from 21 Jump Street) and finds out that his father's spirit lives on in a road that swallows people up when they're on it too long. Yes, it was bad, but Uncle Lou makes it so much more watchable. He also carried the all-star cast of Mark Wahlberg, Christina Applegate, and Antonio Sabato Jr. in 1998's The Big Hit. Many action scenes and fast camera work is not enough to hide the on-camera prowess of Uncle Lou. Anyone as nerdy as me will also recall his performance in Tales From the Crypt's episode "Oil's Well That Ends Well," about a double-crossing group of oil-seekers.

Uncle Lou's personal love falls in the Drama-Thriller genre. He wrote two movies about the topic: the near-pornographic (from what I've read) Dangerous Touch and Ambition, about a writer seeking to get into the mind of a madman.

Look, I know he's part Cherokee, part Hawaiian, part Chinese, part Spanish and part Scotch-Irish, but I have some Irish in me-- Yes, I also know that he was born in the Philippines, but what's location, right? Many people point out our lack of resemblance in order to thwart my claim of relation, but I assure you that under all my fat is a sexy Lou Diamond Phillips look-alike just itching to come out. Also, I realize that his birth name is Louis Upchurch, but he did take the name of his stepfather, so sure, he may not be a true Phillips, but he's always got a place in our hearts. When he comes to family reunions the place just lights up.

Did you know that Uncle Lou was in a band?! Oh yeah, he gets around. The Pipefitters with Lou Diamond Phillips is the band that he frequents with in Southern California. And get this--Melissa Etheridge would jam with them sometimes. On the downside, Miss Etheridge managed to steal away Uncle Lou's first wife of four years, Aunt Julie Cypher. Sometimes things just don't work out and sometimes women don't like men anymore. What're you gonna do? I'll tell you what Uncle Lou did, he bounced back and married Aunt Kelly, his occasional make-up person--you just can't keep a good Phillips down. And Aunt Kelly makes the best chocolate chip cookies. So while Uncle Lou does live all the way in Hollywood and I don't get to see him much 
(he does a lot of charity work in addition to acting), I do still love my Uncle Lou.