the record in question

Ben Folds started making music right out of the gate in 1988 in a messy band called Majosha. Thirteen years later, after his band (Ben Folds Five) called it quits, Folds embarked on a solo career. His first record was called Rockin' the Suburbs, and was famous for the single of the same name. Among other excellent songs on the record was the sweeping finale called "The Luckiest."

"The Luckiest" was written for Folds' wife, Frally Hynes. Hynes is Folds' third wife and she hails from Australia. After following folds to America and leaving behind her job as yoga instructor, Hynes eventually married Folds. They currently have twins and split time between Australia and America. After two other wives, a two year courtship, and one year married, I think Folds is in a unique position to call himself "the luckiest."

I would argue that some kid who's been dating a girl for a month or so is not in such a position.

When Johnny Sensitivity assigns this song to his new girlfriend, it demeans the value of such a beautiful and sentimental piece. As a fan of Folds and love, it makes me cringe when some guy uses a line from this song in reference to his new-found girlfriend. You've taken a song that transcends time and made it into a ploy to get laid. That's insulting to me, and I didn't even write it.

Folds himself is probably okay with the misuse of his song. When you put something out there on a record it becomes free to the public. They can interpret what they want and use it as they wish. Some people were skeptikal of the song "Jesusland" on Folds' 2005 record Songs for Silverman, unsure if it was offensive or not. The song, not offensive at all, was caught in a limbo until people learned more. That's not what a song is for.

"The Luckiest" has been misrepresented and abused so often that it has lost some meaning, in my opinion. After two years with one girl, I was still not prepared to use such powerful, romantic, somewhat creepy words towards her. It wasn't a commitment issue, I just had a problem saying something that I didn't know to be true.

Part of the song suggests that two souls can be meant for each other. The power that can create such fate can make mistakes though. "What if I'd been born/ fifty years before you" asks one line. The question continues to ask: if, despite the 50-year age difference, would the singer still be able to recognize the love that was meant to be between himself and the receiver of the song. That's heavy. This is saying that a love between the singer and subject is so strong that it defies social standards and time.

Still another verse talks of an old man who dies and his wife who dies shortly after. It's a slightly morbid look at a love so strong that one half could not live without the other. Of course, Folds acknowledges that the song is a strange way to explain his love, but you cannot question the fact that the love in this song is not one that pops up in a hormonal kid looking for lovin'.

I will not deny that the couple who lasts a lifetime is not together for the first month. Surely, on a rare occasion, this song may be a meaningful tribute to a love that will last forever in its very early stages, but all too often, I see the dedications result in shattered hearts in less than a year.

Is the problem that I like to mean what I say (or have others say in songs) or do I not live enough in the moment? Maybe for that one moment, a young man could feel that things will last forever and ever. Maybe he is thinking with his heart and not letting his wang make the decisions. Still, taking a song like this to assign to an instant feeling is not wise.

Would you put Stevie Wonder's "I Believe (When I Fall in Love)" on a compilation for your three-month girlfriend? It says, repeatedly, "I believe/ when I fall in love with you/ it will be forever." And will you be in love with her forever? Have you felt any forever? Have you thought about forever and what it will be like?

Stop. Think about what you're saying. Sometimes people listen, and sometimes things don't pan out. You could end up ruining a beautiful song by associating it with your relationship. Years from now, you could have a fond memory of a lovely girl or a twist of a knife when a heartfelt song comes from the speakers.