poop.

And then there was Catwoman. Upon its release, their were rumors of a sequel. Let me say that anyone who approves that has no respect for the public. This movie is so stupid it's barely funny.

Ya know... I'm not even going to watch this whole movie again. Let me just say a few things and we'll be on our way.

From the beginning, we learn that the writers aren't very creative. In a Crow homage, we start with a stupid "the day I died was the day I started living" thing. Halle Berry's there. She's a spicy little ad designer for beauty products. Her cubicle-mate is Alex Borstein (Mad TV, Family Guy), who steals all (intentional) comedic value from the screen. We also see Halle Berry in trouble at work. It's funny because she's hot, but she wears baggy clothes, so that means she's not hot in movie land.

We all know that a few hours and a few strips of leather will whip that lady into shape. Ha! Whip. My puns are as good as theirs. A cat comes on screen and Berry has to save it or some crap. She goes to work one night, sees or hears something she shouldn't, and gets killed. She comes back to life witha vengence, love for cats, and some other junk. Benjamin Bratt is in this movie. We like him much more in Law & Order.

The gem of all gems in this movie is Sharon Stone. I didn't even know she was in this the first time I saw it. I didn't even think it was her for most of the movie the first time. It was unbelievable that her acting was so bad and she would pick such a poor role. What's worse, she's the villan! As a former beauty queen turned old woman. She battles for revenge on her husband, who dethroned her as company spokeswoman, or to keep a secret, or whatever. It's not a good motive to represent evil.

So she's just some normal model, right? What could she have that Catwoman couldn't handle? Good point, Pete. Thanks, Pete. Well Sharon Stone has been using this cream that's in the testing phase and it's made her skin extra thick-- almost inpenetrable. How horrible is that? What's funnier is that on everyone else, the creme has these terrible side effects and is addictive.

In this major showdown, Halle Berry and Sharon Stone fight each other. It's funny stuff. I mean, I won't wait for it, but it's really hilarious. Sharon Stone's skin won't tear and Catwoman, as a cat, well her only real power is agility and scratching. And somehow Sharon Stone is a freaking green beret fighting expert or something.

Many things are left unexplained in this movie, and you don't care much for an explaination, because you're already so saddened for all those involved. I mean sure, Sharon stone lost her mind, and Benjamin Bratt-- is there life after Julia Roberts? Of course not.

Still, the movie got made. No one thought it was bad until it was printed and tested with the audience. A few sharp cuts and strange effects later, it's still not very good. I'd suggest you save your time. This is worse than Gothika. Some really bad decisions were made in this woman's life. I think the most important thing we all have to remember is that this is more degrading than her husband's sex addiction scandal. Seriously.