he smokes pot... whoo...

So far, we haven't had the pleasure of examining a Leprechaun movie. It's a shame because it's a terrible set of movies. But if we pick one to start with, it may as well be the last. As the series goes, in 3 the Leprechaun went to Vegas, in 4 he went to space, and in 5 he went to the hood, for the first time. I've seen none of these, and that is to my shame. I have the future to work with though. Luckily it looks like the Leprechaun doesn't. Lion's Gate seems to own the franchise, and they've made no plans to continue the series. Then again, it's only been two years.

Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood starts with an animated tale of how the Leprechaun and his gold came to be such intimidating forces. Apparently a king from way back when created leprechauns to guard his gold. When the king died the leprechauns were shunned into hiding and they mostly died out or went away... mostly. Except for our favorite Hollywood midget, Warwick Davis. Yes, he really is a leprechaun. After that, we cut to a minister who's being haunted by a rainbow. For some reason he's not surprised that a leprechaun is wreaking havoc on him. He seems to have expected it really. He actually almost takes out the leprechaun too. We think he did, but I know better-- I saw it before.

Now we're not expecting any Earth-shattering script, acting. or even plot really. The creators seem to realize that, and they let us know that they realize that too. The profanity is lush, sex jokes are abundant, and drugs are far from hidden. We have two attractive ladies who we start the main story with, a year after the whole minister incident above. I think it helps to mention that it's actually fairly shot and it could be considerable worse than it is. And I think that the director should get another job, at least with a B movie, but I doubt he will. If you're watching the flick too, pop it out now, because you think that the one woman will get naked-- it's a direct to video, horror flick, and she's an unknown who's good-looking-- but apparently she came with integrity in her contract. Integrity in her contract to appear in the SIXTH leprechaun movie!

The ladies start to wonder why their lives have to be so crappy in the hood. Their life is in a ghetto and they'll never go any where. To remedy that and make themselves feel better, they go to a psychic, who tells them that their lives will soon be in danger and to resist coming temptations. They think she's crazy, but we think she is too-- she's in Leprechaun SIX, and she has some acting years under her belt. Of course she was smart enough to go un-credited, so let's give her that.

Now there's four main characters in tha hood. Rory is a drug-dealing biker who used to have a relationship with Emily, who dropped his ass because he deals drugs and she's gonna make a life for herself in college. We also have Lisa, who is the hot mama who's always being hit on by Jamie, our resident pot-smoking stereotype. Emily Watson may be the only person we've seen before, played by Tangi Miller, because she was the black chick from Felicity, who totally turned down Kenan Thompson in one episode because he was a fat guy-- then when she felt bad she gave him a pity kiss and Kenan goes, "No, I don't need that." Damn! He totally burned her. Anyway, we'll also know who Chanel is. We think she'll get naked too, but she won't. She's Rory's new slut-tastic girlfriend who stays with him for the money and the drugs. Keesha Sharp, who we'll recognize her Pootie Tang-- right? Remember the scene with the milk? That was her. Excellent.

When Jamie's getting high, he's sayin', "Get your own dog!" and HA! he's talking to a dog! That's golden. There's a whole running gag that has the hoodies saying "ninja" instead of another popular n-word. It's humorous enough for the first few times. When the hood-folk have a cookout at the old community center site, Emily falls in the ground and finds a treasure check filled with gold-- and we come to find that this is never-ending gold. Dump it out, close it, open, and it's chock-full again. Amazing. What could we expect them to do? They go nuts. While Jamie promised not to buy any pot, he gets two trash bags full. That's so silly. Trash bags full of dope. Ha! If this is short of comedic genius, I'd say it's only by a centimeter. The gold is gone, so the leprechaun lives... Meanwhile Lisa has a new car, Emily has new clothes and she should be on her way to college, Rory has a new gun and he ho has a ton of clothes, and our buddy Jamie paid off his dope dues with the local thugs.

When our gang throws a party, it seems like the perfect time for our leprechaun to show up. The stoner doesn't think there is a leprechaun because he's high. The leprechaun gets high because he thinks he's smoking a pipe. He gets the giggles and falls down laughing. Of course, the stoner stole a piece of Jamie's gold, which he stole from the leprechaun. The leprechaun tries to get it from the stoner, who gets an attitude, then gets a bong through his stomach. I hear the slow bleed from the stomach is the slowest way to die. I wonder... Anyway, there's some zany antics in the kitchen with the leprechaun, who has the munchies I suppose. He's also in love with pot now too. When they find the dead stoner, the cops come, for the first time in the movie. Meanwhile, Rory's ho gets a piece of gold melted down into a gold tooth. This means the leprechaun will have to get the tooth back.

In a gripping salon scene, Emily buries a hair buzzer in the Lep's eye. That's a rough deal, eh? Emily gets everyone back together, except Lisa. They have to get to Lisa's to save her. She's going to get a shower, but she won't get naked, so don't get excited. Yes, the Leprechaun's there and terrorizing her. It pains me to say that she's the first to go. She was really one of the characters who had charm and I wanted her to get out of the ghetto and make a life for herself. In the midst of murder, the group meets again to think things through. Emily wants to return the gold, but Rory doesn't want to. All he has is the gold. He gives in, but he only has two of his original 50 pieces left. Rory steals the gold because you can't trust a pothead when you go to the bathroom, and from there things continue to get worse. Interesting people may note that there's no magic used on the part of the leprechaun in this movie, save his teleportation abilities. The flick would've been a half-hour if he did use it.

After a night time altercation with Emily, the Lep goes to Rory's ho's place, but she's a ghetto lady, and she's got a shot-gun on hand. What a woman! No shot gun takes out a leprechaun though. He takes out her jaw and gets the tooth back. Instead of pocketing it, he puts it in his own mouth. A nice touch for a murderous leprechaun. It's Leprechaun 6 people! This is heartless torture. When the cops try to pull over Rory for speeding, the ol' Lep shows up to have some fun. He kills a cop, which is a big time offense. He'll get time for that, surely. He tries to steal the cop car shortly after, but his little midget legs are too small. By now he's already ripped the other cop's leg off though, so he uses the severed limb for a leg extension. HE-haw-larious!

Blah, blah, blah, the rival drug dealers decide that now is the time they should give Rory a problem because he's taking their business. But when the Lep shows up, the rival leader is ready to show him who's boss--ooh! The leader's girlfriend called his cell phone. Stop the fighting, he has a call. Lovely topical humor, really. When they continue, a fist fight leaves the leader dead (big shocker). Lep takes out the whole gang, and when the smoke clears the cell phone rings. Lep answers. Ha! Leprechaun on a cell phone. Of course, when the caller hangs up, there's a dial tone. Interesting filming error. I bet someone got fired over that... the movie AFTER Leprechaun five!

Jamie is our favorite character when the heat is on. He's the most graceful comic relief of all time. When the Lep is in fast pursuit, they take clovers and coat bullets in them. This way, when they shoot him, he'll actually get hurt. The gun jams though, which makes us mad because they almost kill him a good 700 times in the last 20 minutes. It's like Pearl Harbor the movie, you think it's over, then BOOM, more stuff. Jamie gets killed I think. I'm not sure, I skipped ahead. He probably got a baseball bat through him. That's a common theme. Among items inserted through torsos, there is a bong, a night stick, and probably a baseball bat. Director loses points for that. What's a horror movie without good kills?

When they finally kill the leprechaun, they ride away in the sunset with smiles on the motorcycle. No mention of college, no problems with life, no dissatisfaction with the ghetto. No-- Jamie's alive, he's playing basketball with kids. It's cool. We liked him anyway. And then, the movie ends.