Memories--the Stuff that Makes Butter Melt
By: Pete Phillips
June 1, 2003
10:02 PM

Sic transit gloria (glory fades)

Not all things can go on forever ladies and gentlemen--you realistic visitors know this to be true--you idealists... I love you. Still, what a good ride I've had with the Aquabeast. Even now I shed a tear just knowing that it's sitting alone in my front yard with a $1000 price tag. Sure, I was a rough owner for the little bugger, but we shared some laughs and memories that I may never share with any other car. Not to mention, I had to leave my "I Hate Everything" sticker on it, which makes me even more sad. 

The Aquabeast, a name bestowed upon my 1994 Plymouth Acclaim by Joe Baldasare with collaboration from Gregory N. Kirschner, was a good car indeed. Despite the hard times it had before coming into my possession, the car was always good to me, and I was good to it. Ranging from speeds starting at zero and reaching 110 miles per hour, at times, I was always sure to push the car to the limits and see how much it could take and still stay together. The car is in fine working condition now, but his last ailment remains--the suspension bar (which costs about $500-$1000) is broken and it causes a "submarine-like" sound in the back when tight turns are made. Mom thought it would be a good time to turn in the old faithful Aquabeast and put it out to pasture--more like moss in my yard though. 

Still memories fade slowly--it seems like just yesterday when...
Greg took a chip of paint to remember the car by.
Alexa spilled ice cream all over herself when we went to Jitty Joe's.
I almost got Karen and me killed coming out of the bank.
I took Laura Longo to the movies in the middle of winter and forgot about the heat.
Pat yelled at some kids out the window and they told him to f--k himself.
I almost rear-ended some guy at Burger King... almost!
Mrs. Shannon taught me how to drive.
I had to write a sign for which side of the car the gas tank was on.
I took countless speeders to town on the PA Turnpike.
I horded napkins from every restaurant for the glove compartment.
I killed that little blond kid on his bike--no, wait--
The automatic seatbelt choked countless innocent victims.
I used the handicapped sign to take Amy to the mall while she was on crutches.
Emma and I went to Smithville!
Karen, Alexa, Joe, Greg, Pat, Candace, Mike, Mom, Amy, Roy, Amanda, Sara, Chrissy, Jason and Aaron, Beth, Ed, Martin, Sean and Alex and Colleen, and Kyle made fun of the Aquabeast. 

I'll miss you good friend. The Aquabeast has taken me to amazing places, like Trucksville, Moosic, Egg Harbor, and the ever-memorable Wilkes-Barre, PA. The roads won't be the same without you sweet prince, but I hope to see you kick up some dust as you drive into the sunset on one fine day, when you're in the hands of another. Farewell....