Ted Kaczynski (AKA the Unibomber) even logged on before Greg did

Greg Goes Online: Ted Kaczynski to Follow
It's been some time since I brought you guys some news about Greg. It's not that I don't like him or haven't talked to him, but I've been strapped for time all around lately. I'm doing a full time internship with King's College and I have been in limbo while moving from one dorm to another, not to mention my short trip home and the fun time I have to make for myself to prevent me from snapping. Amidst all the commotion though, I lost track of the balance of the universe, which is being controlled solely by me in a bunker outside of Chicago, which I can get to quickly via teleportation device. It became apparent that the earth was off balance when I, sitting at my computer, recieved an instant message from Greg.

It was about twenty months ago when I started living with Greg. After a short time, it became clear that he had it out for my computer. When I would come back from class, sometimes he would have chunks of computer parts hanging from the ceiling from wires. The weren't parts of my computer, but it seemed that he enjoyed the ripping to pieces part. Once I came back and the words "Computers Byte Ass" were Sharpied onto the tower. I couldn't pin it on Greg, but he was the only other person with a key to the room.

As time progresseed, Greg found out that you can play games on the computer. I believe the first one to tickle his fancy was BrickBuster, a German knock-off of the classic game found on most cell phones today. Eventually he discovered Snood, the game which has us all as victims at some point in time. Greg controlled his impulses to play the game, but he still frequented it. Boggle also appealed to Greg, though he often had verbal arguments with the computer's dictionary, "Katana's a word, it's a type of weapon! Oh yeah?! Well I got one right here and I'll cut ya!"

In addition, I was building a little project that you're viewing today, and Greg was read all the best lines from the early stories and consulted for many pieces. It served as a teaser for him to read full stories when he was in the library or computer lab. Now, Greg has gotten an internet connection at his home in NJ and he's running high. Greg IMed me yesterday for the first time, and I was glad to hear from him. Here's an excerpt from our conversation which will serve for a transition to the next part of this article (note the nice screen name on Greg's part, I blanked out the last digits, he doesn't want to hear from you anyway):

Aimsucks--- (9:05:56 PM): how's my place doing Orangeape3 (9:06:24 PM): not too bad, i didn't spend too much time there yet, just filling the freezer up Aimsucks--- (9:06:51 PM): ok Aimsucks--- (9:07:07 PM): did you get the care package i left? Orangeape3 (9:07:40 PM): no, i rushed. i'll have to find it tonight Orangeape3 (9:07:46 PM): i'll take pictures and stuff Aimsucks--- (9:08:13 PM): do that and flush my toilet please

A Trip to Greg's Place!
Now, from the above conversation I could only assume that Greg took a massive poop before he left and, as a test, he left a note telling me to flush the toilet. At this point, I went to Greg's apartment to check up on the place. I was very worried. I could only imagine how long his "care package" was sitting in the toilet. Then, Greg shocked me even more. He actually left a box of food for me, so I wouldn't die. I crept up to the toilet too, it was empty, so I flushed it and took a picture. I also picked up the mail and came across a few things for Greg and a few things for the South Seas Trading Company. I was worried that the mail might be for a real company. I called Greg and discussed the matter with him. Greg informed me that he and Joe Baldasare started a trading comany that dealt in small land masses in the Pacific. I was proud of my friends' success. I told him his catalogs arrived.

After a few more minutes of catching up with Greg, I decided it was time to grab my carepackage and get moving. Before I did that, I scoped out Greg's toaster and contemplated stealing it. I didn't though. I also snapped a couple pictures for you guys and you can see them below:

First, I had to get in the front door. It appears that Greg's keychain was kinda' big, but not too big. It worked like a charm.		Ah yes, the mighty toilet. It only had water in it, so I was relieved. Thanks for that small blessing Greg!		While at Greg's I decided to take a load off and watch some TV.

And that was the trip to Greg's. It was a fun one, and I got to put all my frozen dinner's in a real freezer. Did you know at Wegman's you can get 5 frozen dinners for $5? That's a dollar a meal. For $5 you could get a fancy lunch, or FIVE whole meals. I'll let you know how they taste later, ok? That's all for this story though. It was a pretty good one.

Oh-- I forgot, Greg also said he still hates computers:

Aimsucks---(10:58:06 PM): i am still anti computer

That crazy Kirschner. He'll always keep me entertained, even if he did skip my birthday party.