"what a country!"

One of my principle hypotheses of recent years is given more evidence today from newspapers around the region. It's possible that newspapers around the world are reporting the same news, but who knows?

The Philadelphia Inquirer broke the story today-- they took an axe and split this sucker open like a rotted log. Yakov Smirnoff is getting a graduate degree in psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. The reading I've done for this piece taught me a few things and really reinforced some feelings I have about other things. It' also filled me with fear for the future.

Yakov will be using his degree to stamp some legitimacy on his latest project, a humor/self-help book called "Living Happily Ever Laughter." See? What he did was take "after" and make it into "laughter," because they sound alike. Get it? Of course you do. Yakov isn't the most subtle comedian of all time.

Wait-- do you know who Yakov Smirnoff is? I know a lot of kids these days don't remember the tail-end of the Cold War, but that was Yakov's hey-day. See, he's Ukrainian and all of his jokes were about the Soviet Union, which was probably Russia then? Greg would know for sure. Anyway, Yakov was a comedic representation of all stereotypes about the USSR at the time. Problem was, he was actually from there. He was like the Butler in Shirley Temple movies. He actually played out all these stereotypes and betrayed his own character and heritage. But hey, you gotta make a living, right?

So Yakov used his comedy to bridge the gap between Americans and Soviets. It was a nice concept, but Yakov never saw the end of a war in sight. When that finally came, his career sort of shut down on him. He fizzled out with guest spots on Night Court and faded into obscurity.

Obscurity? More like college! One thing I learned in researching this article is that The University of Pennsylvania is an Ivy League school. I had no idea. Maybe every state gets one? Except Arkansas, of course. Second, I learned that they have a psychology program. That wasn't much of a learning experience, but the fact that Yakov is concentrating in psychology does perpetuate my newfound stereotype that people studying the psychology field are messed up in their own heads. This is a very unfair stereotype, and I acknowledge that, but if you met the kid I did, you'd feel the same. I encourage any stable psychology people to contact me and break the chains of this thought.

I also learned that Yakov Smirnoff can get a book deal! What the hell?! Yakov also claims he does 230 shows a year for up to 250,000 fans. I don't know though. Maybe he tours back in Russia and they all come out, like Southerners for Larry the Cable Guy, just to laugh at themselves and the way the were? I can't imagine a quarter-million Americans coming out for Yakov, but what do I know?

The last thing I learned was that Yakov has his own theatre. This is unfair to mention last, but this is how he has his 230 shows a year. He plays them in his own club. Yakov still makes Russian jokes, he still tells stories about Mother Russia, and worst of all, he dresses in traditional Russian garb. When will we look past character comedy? We may never. But thanks to Yakov, we don't have to, because he'll have a Master's degree. The last reinforcement of a preexisting thought: I don't need to go to graduate school yet. Maybe later. Thanks Yakov!