here's a circus in the Kingston Armory, not the same circus I saw though

I went to the circus everybody. King's College WebCT goddess Melody Priebe would be disappointed, if she knew, but I'm pretty sure I hid the fact from her well enough. Now my circus experience hasn't been more accelerated than this year. I've attended three circuses in that time and I'm a full time critic, which makes me full of sharp lines and quick wit that just goes to waste at such events. I hope I don't get rusty in the sarcasm department, for your sake. Anyway, I can't make fun of anything because Karen really likes the circus. She looks forward to this particular circus all year, which could be seen as distressing for people that care about her. Lucky for her, we ignore that distress.

The show started with a big time roar, yuck-yuck-- it was the tiger show. Now what made that cool was that there was one tiger that wouldn't cooperate. He went so far as to swing at the trainer, who was a big enough ass to actually hit the tigers in stead of whipping at them. Though this guy didn't get mauled, we did have prime seats if the action went down. Another gem in the tiger show was the lion, who was obviously a retired lion from a real circus. The previously mentioned ass-trainer (and by that I mean he was an ass who happened to be a trainer, not a trainer of asses), bossed the old lion around like it was his job, which it is I guess. The old lion went around not giving a crap though, he was sure to move around at his own pace and not care about the expectations of his audience, trainer, or anyone else. I liked that lion.

Next we had some miscellaneous crap that I can't remember so blah-blah-blah... we'll just go with what I remember, ok?

And then it was over-- heh, just kidding!

So there was more stuff. There were dogs that came out to do tricks, which was, in essence, a half-assed show. It was actually surprising that this show was probably twice as good as last year's, but still particularly bad. Compared to last year, the trapeze artists were fewer in number, but equal in weight, which is a lot. I guess the circus life doesn't leave you much but hot dogs, popcorn, and cotton candy to eat, so it seems just wrong to criticize them for their weight while they're up on the ropes, but I do anyway. What came later was a cat show, which had a good hundred one-liners tucked away in it, but I was on my best behavior, minus the pointing out of the obvious: "They're cats-- when they jump they land on their feet-- it's what they do-- we're not watching this--" and then came a trip to the bathroom. 

Next came some elephants, four total, who were kind enough not to attack anyone, but did receive some attacking (I think this company may not be back in Kingston, much less in business, next year). The head elephant was manned by a 13-year-old girl who tours the country being schooled by various carnies and circus folk, while living her dream of climbing on and off of elephants in a completely non-challenging way. It's a big dream, and for such a little girl, it brought a tear to the eye of all attendees when she waved goodbye while being half-covered by an elephant's ear.

There was also rinky-dink stuff in the middle, like some wheel thing, rolling barrels, "magic," a clown, and who knows what else. There was the clown though, who brought a date and/or his mother to the show for a good time. It was  quite the spectacle for the Shriners, who gave this woman an expensive seat for a general admission price. Their shame shined brighter than the sequins on their hats in that very moment.

The finisher was a junior compared to the Greatest Show on Earth, but it gets an A for effort. There was a woman who got shot out of a cannon, but I was suspicious of her name, Stephanie "Smith." I figure there's a story about espionage and spying in there that I have no time to go through right now. The cool part about this was that the woman would be perfect for Sam Falbo or Gergory "G-Funk All Star" Kirschner. Who better to hook up with a lady who gets shot out of a cannon than the biggest loaded guns I know? It was nice, and I wished one of them could've been there for the attempt at a phone number or one-night-carnie-stand. My jokes would have had an outlet too.

Regardless of my color-commentary, the attendees in my party were all happy. Karen was happy from the get-go, Alexa seemed to have a good time despite a headache, and Charbi was there for the cotton candy. A good time was had by all and we'll have to wait again for next year for the real test of time in Pete's mind. 'Til then, find your own circus and have a chuckle, but remember, the carnies have fun, at least!