Dave and the Cotton Candy Cocoons

Part 1, Part 2

The lone security guard waits at the gates for the klown kar full of klowns. There's some klown kar humor, but the memorable like comes when the klowns whip out pies and the guard asks, "What're ya gonna do with those pies, boys?" Yes, they throw them at him and he turns into a big pile of whipped cream. And the little klown puts a cherry on top for effect.

Now the klowns have overtaken the amusement park. Our heroic group of men come to their rescue and enter the park, which seems to be completely indoors for some reason. I would say they may be in a fun house, but the amount of disturbing imagery on the walls leads me to believe it's really just a creepy indoor park. One thing that is important to note is that Dave has gotten hold of the enforcements and they are on their way to help the group. Until they come, however, we have only Dave, Mike, and the Terenzi's to stop the pending takeover of the killer klowns.

Mike philosophizes that perhaps the klowns came to the earth thousands of years ago and our contemporary clown came from their form. One of the Terenzi's squashed that theory by asking, "Why aren't they funny?" Indeed they are not. They're here to kill and eat us. Mike shares the news about shooting the klowns in the nose to kill them, and the group is now equipped for some great battle.

The darkened house leaves us puzzled when we see the Terenzi's drop off the floor into a big pool of balls. When Mike and Dave can't find them, they continue on. At the pool, the Terenzi's meet up with two lady-clowns. One asks, "Are you Debbie's roommates?" These are the roommates they were promised a crack at if they took Mike to Debbie's scenes ago. Now, they are in a park run by killer klowns, but they still fail to make the connection.

By now you've seen enough of the set that you've probably realized how awful it is. Despite the bright colors and vivid designs, they're pretty lame in structure. The back of the DVD boasts, "The $2 million budget went primarily to production costs. The clowns and visual effects were created by the filmmakers at very little cost." This isn't very surprising, since it looks pretty bad to begin with, but one thing you do learn is that a little paint and a good dollar store can get you a very long way. What isn't mentioned on the back is that the klown gun, which gets very little screen time, actually cost tens of thousands of dollars and ate up a good chunk of the budget. And how do I know? I watched the director commentary.

Now, Dave and Mike find the cotton candy cocoon warehouse area and they start to hunt for Debbie, with no real regard for any other person stuck in the balloons or cocoons. This is the first actual time when we get to see a klown whip out a krazy straw and suck the blood right out of a cocoon. How else would a klown eat a human? Although, one ignored strength of the klowns is their innate sucking ability, which, considering the twists and turns in that straw, is terribly powerful. We also learn that the klowns have an advanced gastrointestinal system because one burps after drinking the blood of a human. I wouldn't peg blood as a gassy liquid, but maybe it was carbonated.

Mike freaks out, but at least he doesn't alarm the klowns this time. They find Debbie's balloon, but they can't break it. Luckily, Dave's a cop, one that they give guns to, and he shoots her free. As usual, gunshots are loud and draw attention. Also, Dave decides that, as a hero, he must free the rest of the cotton candy cocoons. When the klowns come, he quickly abandons that idea. Debbie, Mike, and Dave are chased through the park and slide down a pole into a dark abyss.

Phew! It was safe-- except for the hall of swaying doorways that leads to the pit of balloons. At the end is a door, followed by a series of smaller doors. They go through the smallest and end up in a big room with geometric shapes decorated in zany clown designs. To fight them off, they climb to the highest point and kick klowns away. It looks like our group will perish, until the ice cream truck plows through the wall, which was curiously made of brick, not tent fabric. No one really considers that because they're taken back by the Terenzi's actually using their brains for once. They speak into the mic and the klowns think that the clown head on top of the truck is actually the master klown. Not so, as we find out when a Terenzi screws up. Those wacky brothers...

When they try to back out and drive away, the truck won't start. But the panic is put aside when an enormous klown descends from the ceiling. Klownzilla (a Chiodo-given name) attacks the truck first. The Terenzi's refuse to leave it because it's rented. Silly kids. When the truck is thrown, it blows up like it was selling dynamite instead of ice cream. Dave plays hero again and sends Mike and Debbie away while he stays behind to divert attention. Shots are fired, but none hit the nose. As Dave runs out of bullets and the tent starts to spin (in order to take off), Mike and Debbie run away.

And Dave? He's picked up by Klownzilla and will seemingly be eaten right up, but then-- Mike instinctively pops the nose with the sharp end of his badge, which blows up the entire tent-ship... into fireworks. Because it's clowny. When the klown car lands, everyone's scared. The door opens, and Dave comes out! Thank God. Then, in a freezer-- the Terenzi's! Phew! But wait-- ooh-- they all got hit with pies! Will the terror ever end?! Cut to credits.

Now listen kids-- this isn't over yet. YOu have to get a hand on the DVD so you can watch a deleted scene called "Bad Experience," which takes place in the tent when Mike and Debbie first find it. While inside the tent, we learn that the already reluctant Debbie is afraid of clowns (a coulrophobic). Why? At a young age she was thrown into a circus ring with clowns, and she was scared, "Honking their horns... squeaking their noses... their cakey white faces... yellow eyes, dingy teeth... were tormenting me... I was terrified." Something tells me this scene is on the TV version, but I can't be sure because I've seen it so many times now.

"Tight Rope" is another deleted scene that covers part of the amusement park chase. Yeah, you're sharp. They have to walk across a tight rope. No real fun there at all. Just a tension-heavy climax between Mike and Dave and a grab for Debbie from a klown.

In the end, this fantastic flick achieves a multitude of goals. It terrifies those scared of clowns. It also makes those who are not question the origin and motivation of real clowns. For genre fans it provides laughs upon laughs. For the Chiodo's it's a jewel in their crown of grassroots movie effects. And for fans of plot, it provides a great critique on the things that can be achieved with a flimsy story. Why did the klowns come? Why did they need human blood? Where did they come from? These questions all satisfy the thinker at the movies and leaves he/she pondering the film for weeks after they see it. In the end, the point still stands. This is the greatest clown horror flick of all time. You may have seen Clownhouse, but that doesn't compare-- especially since there's no child molestation controversy around Killer Klowns from Outer Space. All that aside. None other will ever compare, and if a sequel is truly in the works, as rumored around the internet, I say bring it on. I will willingly buy a copy at the full retail price of $20-- just as I did for this one.

Part 1, Part 2