I used to think that things had to make sense, but now I'm learning that very little does.

When I was in school, all the way up to algebra, I was pretty good at math. I was no mental genius, but I was good at it. I had some awful teachers, especially in eighth grade, but I picked up the basics and got through. My favorite math was Geometry. I liked the inclusion of shapes and drawing, but more importantly-- the reason I did well at most math-- everything made sense. If you had an angle that was acute, you knew it was under 90°. Armed with very little information, you could crack a big case and get the answer right. I would feel very smart, and I appreciated that.

Math taught me that there were solutions for problems. When you broke things down to numbers, things made sense. You could only rotate around one point 360° degrees, no more, no less (without crossing the initial starting point of course). You could have the angle outside of a triangle and figure out what the inside ones were. I loved it.

I didn't love math enough to make it a career thing. After all, the accountants use fake math, and I didn't know how far I could go with conceptual math-- really, that makes it sound like I thought about those careers. I didn't. I decided to go with the more liberal arts direction. Math was always good in the background. In time, I unconsciously applied the expectations of math to other things. I expected things to make sense. For years I went by with this expectation.

Greg "Giggity" Kirschner and I would constantly get upset with things around us because they didn't make sense. Why would a girl wear shorts with words on the ass and then get upset for guys looking at her ass? Why would a kid ever ask "Did everyone here get more than three digits on their SAT's?" Why would someone with a college education be over-qualified to be a cop in some cases? Some things just never made any sense.

Then, the other day, I realized something that would've saved me years of worry and strife: some things don't make any sense at all. Most things, it seems, just don't happen for a reason or have a solution. Some things are just flat out mind-boggling. Why is Larry the Cable Guy 'funny'? You don't know, but the ticket sales say he is. Don't try to wrap your head around it, just accept it. Take it like we had to take multi-platinum recording artists Creed. Was there an appeal? I didn't hear it.

When you accept that things don't make sense you lose some weight off your mind. One thing that doesn't help, though, is that you lose the concept for your website. But I'll try to keep this up. The thing that you gain, is a warm embrace of "just because." When someone comes into my apartment and sees the kitchen table in the living room, I can say, "Oh, because I felt like it," and suddenly, it's good enough for me. It may not be good enough for them, but oh well.

When things don't make sense, it's not like believing in God. You can't say that faith is the reason for your belief. You really have no excuse at all. However, if you live long enough and think hard enough about the world around you, you'll eventually reach the same conclusion I did.

If you've had a few months like my last few, and you're upset about how nothing seems to make sense-- why I can't talk about my job in a forum that's independent of it, or why my landlord is going to charge me money to fix things that were broken when I moved in-- then try to think about life with this new view. Things just don't make sense anymore.

The Age of Reason was a long time ago and it's just not cutting it in today's bureaucratic and media-driven society. The information age forgot one crucial part of information, and that is how to determine its truth. Hey, maybe we can have an age of truth in a few decades? Who knows. Until then, I'll stop trying to figure some people and events out. It's not giving up, I just can't make my mind bend that way anymore.