one of my current messages

Greg recently complained about the lack of original away messages for all the people on his buddy list. If you're on his buddy list, I apologize, but you're just not entertaining Greg as well as you should.

For those people, we have this new list of 25 fresh away messages for free public use. That being said, not all are worth using, but different people like different things, so maybe you'll find a little slice of away message heaven here.

• Traveling through ventricles-- I love to play Blood!
• Out clubbing seals and knocking over old ladies.
• Pondering Michael Jackson's guilt.
• I swear I just saw the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. I'm out chasing it.
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does the earth still cry for its fallen soldier?
• You're reading my away message and the bad news is that it's poison. BUT, I have the antidote, so leave one.
• Basking in the light that is my own personal glory.
• Off to work. If you wanted to talk to me, I would have to stop working. Please donate via PayPal.com.
• Practicing my recall of military time.
• Shakespeare once said, "Out to eat." Okay, he didn't, but I did.
• Watching you read this through a very powerful telescope.
• Remember that movie Short Circuit? How about I, Robot? Needless to say, I'm training my robot early.
• On Pluto, one day is equal to 6.4 earth days. Today feels like I'm on Pluto.
• It's %t, do you know where I am? Neither do I-- aw crap.
• Feasting on the blood of young vegetables.
• Eating like a zombie.
• Out sporting my leather jacket, because as long as I wear it, Henry Winkler will always be the Fonz.
• Carrying books and bags in order to look important.
• Speaking in tongues-- blouq hupo wbsim dmome znbsd.
• If you wanna bake my potato, maybe you should peel it first. I have no idea what that means.
• Ba-loon! Ba-loon! Damnit, where's that red balloon?!
• If it's day, I'm millionaire Bruce Wayne, but if it's night, then I'm Bat-- I mean volunteering at the soup kitchen.
• Converting my cell phone to a mobile phone because it sounds hipper.
• I've been abducted by aliens and I'm experiencing lost time. I won't even know I'm away until it's too late.
• Trying to buy Jimmy Plant's soul off Ebay. I mean have you seen all those Led Zeppelin songs in commercials lately?