clearly the superior team

The Super Bowl is right around the corner and I gotta say that football fever is still not catching here at PetePhillipsOnline. The Super Bowl comes once a year and more often than not I am reduced to choosing a team based on their colors, status when I used to pay attention to football (back when Emmit Smith was the top dog), or more commonly, the zeal of their fans. Now you may assume that when I say zeal that you think I will side with the most zealous, but in reality, I gage the extreme nature of the fans and move from there. If the fans are drunk with excitement for reasons I can't rationalize, then I go with the other team. And this year is now different ladies and gentlemen. This year you have the lunacy of Philadelphia Eagles fans dripping into your ears, on all the lips of people around you, and on the minds of most people (whether they be pissing and moaning like me, or partaking in the festivities). Thus, I am on the side of the New England Patriots (they made it, right?)

The other way I can pick a team is if I compare the value of the people I know who support the opposing teams. This year, PetePhillipsOnline supporter, Gregory "You've Got a Friend in Me" Kirschner has a fondness for the team in green, despite his shared loathing for the excitement of Eagles fans. (As he says, "...the world will still spin.") This is a big side of the scale for the Eagles so far, but then you consider the other Eagles fans (the loud, the drunken, and more specifically, the blindly loyal), then the scale tips out to just about even. Now who's on the Patriots' side? Pete's Uncle John. Now, Pete admits that he doesn't talk to Uncle John as often as he should, but he still wins this competition of teams.

If we'll examine the Eagles fan we'll see many poetic and ironic things that come to the forefront. Like the old days in high school, they have a chant. Now I can't say who exactly developed this chant and I don't know, nor do I wish to know, how it took a city by storm, but this is it:

Fly, Eagles Fly
On the road to victory!
Fight, Eagles, Fight
Score a Touchdown 1,2,3!

HIT EM LOW
HIT EM HIGH
AND WATCH OUR EAGLES FLY!!!

Fly, Eagles, Fly
On the Road to Victory!!

E-A-G-L-E-S
EAGLES!!!!

There's many things to be learned about the Eagles from this chant. Let's list them for dramatic purposes: 1) They are aware that eagles fly, but there is no distinction between the animal and the football player, so they may believe that man can also fly. 2) They have the worst rhyming abilities of all time. Puff Daddy could spit better than this, yo! 3) The rhyme scheme lacks a distinct consistency. 4) They can manage to spell eagles. This is shocking to most, which is why I think they save it for the end of the chant. 5) The middle puts the message on a dramatic interpersonal axis. On one hand they speak to the eagles, but then they demand that you "Watch our eagles fly!" This would be a terrible suggestion for defense or offense for the team, which leads me to believe that they are speaking to other spectators, but surely they don't want the spectators to "hit 'em high" and "hit 'em low." This is a confusing point that many excuse, but even a flood can start with one drop. The poor kids chanting this will write papers in the future that won't make any sense. And their concept of appropriate dialogue will be thrown right out the window.

We all realize that this is a great set of people rooting for the Eagles. They have spirit despite being smacked down year after year in the past. I also heard that the Eagles stand no chance because their abilities are flat out inferior, but that's what sports is all about right? Where else can a guy win a race because someone else tripped or you can win a gold medal on a technicality? God bless the sporting world. But if you haven't chosen your team to support for the big game, then may I suggest you side with the Patriots. If you don't do it because they're NOT the Eagles, then just do it because they play in the hometown of Mama and Papa Coen.