hey, I'm not made of stone here... that's a sad commercial

I read about this before I had my holiday vacation from work. It was the same day that I read about the British advancements in face transplants. That was cool, this was not. I read that global warming was melting the ice caps. Who didn't know about that though? Come on. That's been going on for years. What didn't occur to me, or maybe you, is that there are polar bears living on those glaciers. Imagine having your house melt away. But you can't, because it's just not the same.

If your house melted away, you'd just stand around a bunch of melted stuff and go, "What the hell was that?" A polar bear doesn't do that, they can't stand on water. They sink. That's crazy! No polar bear deserves a drowning. Only witches drown, right? No, when they drown that means they're not witches. Whatever. Listen up-- polar bears are dying! Who's going to sell our Coca Cola? When will I ever be able to whip out my knowledge of polar bear fur? I could barely get it into conversation when they were alive and well.

I read the story and trusted it immediately since it came from the British and not Americans. I was upset. Immediately I wanted to give money to the polar bears, but it's not like they can buy a condo in Boca Raton-- they're polar bears! We can't put up a frosty biosphere and let them live it up in there. Someone would stop that. They'd say we need money for other things, like poor people. And if any poor people start eating polar bears, then you know that the world's gone mad.

In panic, I tell many people about this. My sister says to me, "There's no evidence of global warming. The government says so." I'm like WHOA! Who's lying to me? America or Britain. In true American form, I picked Britain as the truth-tellers. Then I did some research online, and damned if Seychelles isn't involved already. Our president is ignoring global warming, despite leading the country that is the largest producer of greenhouse gasses.

You know who's helping though? The countries that are the smallest producers of greenhouse gasses, like Seychelles and the other AOSIS (Alliance Of Small Island States-- not made up). They're doing their part to cut down on toxic emissions, but it's not enough. They are Small Island States after all.

Greenpeace is doing their best to bring attention to the problem. They have the most heart-wrenching commercials with polar bears in them. I don't know if they can afford airtime on real prime spots, but they're trying. They also put the extinction of polar bears at 2050. That's messed up! If our president's going to be so busy fighting self-created terrorism, why can't he divert some funds to a real problem? Kids need polar bears!

I don't know what the plan is, but someone's got one. Greenpeace has already filed a lawsuit to have the polar bear put on the endangered species list. They're also boasting that this would be the first animal on the list due to global warming. I can't blame them. They've been going on about this for years. It's a big "I told you so!" to the world. So what can we do? I think we can just give money to Greenpeace and support them in word and feelings. And don't forget divine intervention. Pray for the polar bears. Polar bears are good to have around, and I'll be very upset if they disappear. They never mauled me, and no one goes up there to bother them. It's just good to know they're out there. Otherwise the whole Arctic is just a waste of space.